If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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