party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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