only if we run a train.
done.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
