Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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