I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
