I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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