oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
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