She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
