so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
