I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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