playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
