Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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