I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
