Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I want to walk on stilts...naked
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize