your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
