So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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