I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
