I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
