you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
As shirtless as possible
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
