My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
