you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I think a kid would responsible me up
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
