I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I fill condoms, not promises.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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