so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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