OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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