we made out on top of his cat.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
