SEEEEXXX PLEASE
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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