so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
