Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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