508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
