The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
