If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
