Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
