idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
