Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
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We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
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I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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