I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
