our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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