I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
