i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We talked him into tasing himself.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
