he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
