The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
