chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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