I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize