And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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