Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
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I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
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well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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