Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
