No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
