yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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