I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I can text with my tongue
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
