it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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