Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
