I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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