remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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