feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
