I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
