I hate all girls vehemently.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
