I forgot how hot balto sounded
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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