After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
