I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
