my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
