How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
