Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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