the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
