Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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