I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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