brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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